Category: Fundamentals

One of the first things we did after bringing home Betty (our new travel trailer) was to save the date for the annual family camping trip with a group from our church. This fun-filled weekend has been held every year for the last 25 years. Nevertheless, it would be the first time that Helen (adorable wife) and I would attend. I can’t really explain our reasons for not attending, especially in the early years except that it was probably because our boys were heavily involved in competitive soccer. That was our loss because this is a large amount of fun and very spiritually rewarding.

Family Camp is held in one of the group campgrounds in the Big South Fork National River & Recreation Area located on the Cumberland Plateau near Oneida, Tennessee. The area is truly beautiful and this year the leaves were brimming with color.  Fortunately, their color lingered long this year due to above average rainfall. About 25 families had signed up for the trip and we had over 70 people, including children, attending throughout the weekend with Helen and me being the oldest—probably by several years. Our age didn’t prevent us from being excited, however, and we were eagerly looking forward to the experience. This is what Easin’ Along is all about…faith, families, food, and fun–our kind of retirement activity

We made it to Big South Fork around 2:30 on Friday afternoon and, except for one other person, were the first to arrive (being retired does have advantages). We filled our fresh water tank at the campsite and backed Betty in place with little trouble (I’m getting better at this).  The reason for wanting to arrive early aside from our excitement was to secure as level a camping spot as we could find to make set up as simple as possible.  We were soon joined by other families and, after everyone arrived, it turned out that we were only one of two campers with trailers as everyone else had tents.

The fun began almost immediately as children scampered about joining their friends and playing games. Of all the events of the weekend, it was this one aspect that gave me the most pleasure. It was so much fun seeing the young people ranging in age from three to thirteen playing outdoor games like hide and seek, flashlight tag, and football while leaving the Ipads and the television at home. I love it when children play while making up their own games (and rules) and I love hearing their laughter and squeals even more as they score wins or run away to avoid being “it”.

On the first evening, we were treated to a delicious potato soup prepared by one of the organizers and long-time attendees of the camp. We were then led by Mark, our energetic assistant minister through a short session where every family was asked to introduce themselves and share a family tradition with the group.  The stories and traditions brought smiles all around and it was a great way to become better acquainted with the attendees.  This was especially true for Helen and me because I serve as an usher for our early service every Sunday and don’t encounter most of the congregation that attends the eleven o’clock service.  The same thing is somewhat true for Helen because she sings in the choir. The introductions were followed by an inspiring devotional given by Richard, one of the elders in the church.

On Saturday morning, a breakfast of pancakes, bacon, and sausage was served up with the assistance of a couple of young fellows eager to get in on the act. It was a brisk morning and filling my lungs with crisp mountain air went a long way in getting me out of my comfortable bed inside Betty and on toward the pavilion in search of fresh coffee. I was just ahead of a group of children who arrived on their scooters in a jolly mood despite the early hour.

Helen and I spent the bulk of the day chatting with fellow campers and giving a few tours of Betty while we got her a bit more organized.  We took a walk to admire the fall colors before preparing a cornbread salad for the evening potluck dinner. Oh, and a nap was also on the schedule…just because we could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At around 5:30 all campers began arriving for hamburgers and hot dogs that were accompanied by a smorgasbord of side dishes brought in by the families. I stuffed myself with a variety of treats, some of which are shown in the photo above. Trust me when I tell you that everything was delightful including the conversations we had with everyone sitting at our table where I met my new BFF, Mollie. She was a bit shy at first, but Helen brought out her best grandmother smile and let Mollie know that she wanted to be called BeBe (her name to our grandchildren) and that I was Big Daddy. Mollie and I became fast friends.

The evening was capped off with a huge bonfire, a time of singing songs and a great message delivered by Mark as well as a devotional led by a charming young middle-schooler nicknamed “May-Ray”. I don’t know when I ever felt more relaxed and grateful to our Creator for the blessings we have been given including the opportunity to share in a setting such as this. I’m also certain that the children will remember this time for many years to come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After we left the bonfire, I did peek at my Ipad (don’t tell the kids) to find out if our Tennessee Volunteers were winning their football game. Fortunately, we had the game in hand and I was able to shut everything down and relax by our own campfire. Helen did the same. The night sky was brilliant with a full moon as well. I even saw a shooting star, something I haven’t witnessed in years.

Pancakes and bacon were again the selection for breakfast on Sunday morning along with a variety of cereal and fruit. This didn’t take long as many were involved in packing for the trip home before our Sunday Service began. Mark had arranged for a student who is working as an intern at the church to come and lead us in music.  This young man was a very talented guitarist and had a great voice. He taught us the words to several songs and led us in singing them. We also had several children participate in the service and a children’s sermon from Mark on the beauty that surrounds us. After Mark’s message to the congregation, Helen and I served communion.

I took away a lot from the weekend that will stay with me for a while. The staggering beauty of Big South Fork, the wonderful fellowship with members of our congregation, many of whom I had never met before, the awesome experience of being surrounded by beautiful, loving, and happy children, and of being touched by each of the messages we received.

I left with a better understanding of what it means to be grateful for God’s blessings. It didn’t require a great cathedral either…only a weekend of worship in the woods.

We had a wonderful time at Family Camp, and it’s once again a great time to be Easin’ Along. 

A few months ago, I asked Bob Lowry, creator of the very informative website A Satisfying Retirement to scan his archives and see if he could find an article or two that Easin’ Along readers might enjoy. One of the articles that Bob sent related to me in a very meaningful way. I think you will find his thoughts interesting and I offer them in the paragraphs below along with a few personal notes on this subject.  

We are familiar with this personality type: the cranky old man. He is a stock character in movies, cartoons, and TV shows.  He seems to dislike everybody and everything. Step on his lawn or get in his way at the store and you will know it. Make the mistake to ask him about the government or taxes and your ears will burn for a week.  British author Carol Wyer has a name for it: “irritable male syndrome.” He is not living a very satisfying retirement.

While working on my book, Living a Satisfying Retirement, a question was raised more than once that is worth thinking about. Here is how one contributor posed the question that gets to the heart of the issue:

“Why it does it seem like so many “old” people become bitter and negative, and then you have those “rare” old people who are enthusiastic about life, stay positive and keep fit. Is that something the positive-minded person has to really work hard at? Did they make a deliberate decision to not complain about their aches and pains, and to see the world as a beautiful place? Or is this how they were all their life?”

Importantly, remember that this question was not asked by someone in his or her 20’s or 30’s. This came from someone in their 50’s or 60’s, and therefore I assume is a concern in his or her own life. Do we all end up inflexible and intolerant?  Does the prospect of losing the ability to drive, or to stay in one’s home cause most of us to put a scowl on our face?

I am sure there are all sorts of research studies and physiological reasons why this “grumpy old man” attitude strikes. Medical reasons may include a steady decline in testosterone levels that can produce this bad mood effect.

Let me speculate on some other possible triggers. Retirement can send many a man over the edge. With fewer friends than women, men have little social interaction after work and can become isolated and depressed. Certainly, the loss of a spouse could turn someone into a genuinely unhappy person. The loss of physical or mental capabilities has the potential to leave us bitter. We may remember the “good old days” as a time when the government seemed to work more smoothly, young people were more respectful, and doctors made house calls.

Or, as the question implies, is the crankiness due more to attitude than reality? Are unhappy seniors just an older version of how they were when younger? Can people make a conscious effort to not fall into the complaint trap as they age? If there is a medical cause will that person seek some help?

My personal opinion is the cause is a combination of factors. The declining levels of testosterone after 60 are real. The effects are well documented. Overall, health and relationship issues must contribute to the potential for a less-than-sunny mood. The awareness of one’s own mortality can be a rude awakening for someone.

At the same time, I believe attitude can be a major factor in preventing a full slippage into grumpiness. I don’t mean the type of “everything is great, the glass is always at least half full” attitude. Denying what is happening in your life isn’t the answer.

Maybe acceptance is a better word. No one gets out of here alive. Virtually all of us will suffer from some of the unpleasant realities of the aging process. To be grumpy and rude really says that person is too self-absorbed. We all have aches and pains, we all lose family and friends, we all face the loss of our ability to drive. To make everyone around you uncomfortable or unhappy is really saying, “It is all about me. My problems are worse than yours and that gives me the right to lash out.”

Actually, it doesn’t.

Note: Within a few weeks of receiving this article, I noticed that I, too, had become unusually grumpy—even downright irritable and nasty at times.  At first, I passed it off as an issue related to not sleeping well which is something that I’ve struggled with for several years.  I also felt that it might be tied to age-related lower testosterone levels and made a note to have it checked at some point. The condition persisted until I spoke with my physician about my moods and my irritability.  After some discussion, he said that it could be related to mild depression and suggested that I try a tiny dose of prescription medication to see if it made a difference.  The results were astounding. Within a few days, I had returned to the person I once knew as a “lovable fuzzball”. I was reluctant to share this information but thought that if there are other “grumpy” types out there, this information might prod them to have it checked out.  Take it from me…the change made Easin’ Along the retired road a lot more pleasant.

 

Thanks again to Bob Lowry.

In October of last year, my high school class held our 50th class reunion.  I had intended to comment on this event in Easin’ Along before now, but in waiting a year to reflect on the achievements of my classmates and the turbulent times in which we came of age, I am even more impressed by the accomplishments of this wonderful group of people.

I had the honor of serving as our Class President and, after we gathered for dinner, I took the opportunity to deliver a few remarks to our group.  Written below is an edited version of those remarks. 

Looking Back 50 Years…

Around 1947 or 1948 3.5 million children were born in the United States. We were on the leading edge of the Baby Boom.  Fortunately, we were the offspring of what later became known as “The Greatest Generation” … those rugged individuals who had faced a Depression and endured it fought a war and won it, then quietly came home to resume their lives and create the prosperity in which we grew up.

In 1962, or 54 years ago, 217 of those 3.5 million kids entered Bearden High School.

Here are some of my memories of that time…

I don’t remember much about my first day except that it started with algebra class (and I promptly went to sleep), but I remember much about the next four years.  I was terrible at sports, about average in the classroom, and had great friends. I remember Sock-hops and Shoney’s; Madras shirts, Bass Weejuns, and Villager blouses. I remember our junior prom; I remember our intramural basketball team (the Aardvarks), and the fun we had in Hi-Y, and on the yearbook staff.

We didn’t have much to fret about back then as times were pretty good. Looking back now, however, I can think of three events that impacted all of us.  

I remember standing at my locker outside of biology class on an afternoon in 1963, awkwardly trying to flirt with that cute Janie and getting nowhere, when Mike walked up and asked, “Did you hear that they shot Kennedy?” I couldn’t tell you what I was saying to Janie, but I’ll never forget the words Mike said to me.  Suddenly the world didn’t seem so innocent anymore. I’ll bet you remember where you were too.

I remember the fall of 1964 when African American students enrolled in Bearden High School for the first time. The class of ’66 received four new classmates – Darnell, Lillian, Sylvia, and Gloria. I can’t imagine the apprehension felt by those four lovely young ladies as they walked into our classrooms, but we accepted them with the respect and dignity that they deserved–traits that were taught to us by that Greatest Generation. Looking back through a fifty-year lens, I’m grateful for the class of my classmates. Similar events had torn up campuses in Alabama, Mississippi, and Arkansas, but it was just another day at Bearden High. 

The third event that altered the trajectory of our lives was boiling up in a small country in Southeast Asia. Maybe some of you could have pointed out Viet Nam on a map at that time, but I know I couldn’t. Because of what was going on there, every male in Bearden who had no idea where Viet Nam was, knew about Draft Board 50. The draft and that war were to become significant factors in the lives of all of us…male or female.

I also remember that a few days prior to graduation we gathered in the auditorium at Bearden to perform our senior skit where we made a promise to ourselves and to the world by singing “Gonna Build a Mountain”, by Sammy Davis, Jr. The words went something like…

Gonna Build a Mountain,

Gonna build it high,

Don’t know how I’m gonna do it,

Only know I’m gonna try! 

On June 1, 1966, a few days after that performance, and four years after walking into Bearden High, we assembled together one last time in the James White Auditorium.  We were prayed over by a Minister and the father of a classmate; we listened to inspiring (cough) speeches by five of our best and brightest students around the theme of “Youth Wants to Know Values of Our Times”. We then strolled across the stage where another dad and a member of the school board handed us our diplomas.  Suddenly 217 wide-eyed free spirits now had the world at their feet and were scattered by the four winds to build that mountain.

So, Bulldogs, it’s 50 years – and in my case, 40 pounds later…how’d we do? The bio forms that you sent to us, sheds a bright light on that.

In reading about the lives and careers of our classmates, I found that we had no professional athletes. The class of ’67 made that happen with Phil Garner, a successful baseball player, and manager.  We had no career politicians and, probably because of that, we had no incarcerated criminals (pause).

If we had any, however, we would have had Becky, an Assistant DA to prosecute them, Chuck, a defense attorney to defend them, Carl a law professor to teach them something about the law, and Norman and Ernie, successful corporate attorneys to help them build a business. All five have had distinguished legal careers.

In addition to those five, remarkable achievement by our classmates can be found across almost every segment of American life. We truly have made our presence felt and are among the millions of Americans who make America work!

I want to take a few minutes to point out a few notables.  I can’t name them all because that would leave us no time to take to the dance floor and dance like nobody’s watching, but here are a few…(last names omitted).

Medicine:

Doyle, MD. A cataract and refractive surgeon has traveled to over twenty countries teaching, consulting, and treating patients.

Mike, MD. A neurologist served for 30 years in the United States Army, then joined the faculty of the U of Hawaii. He was voted “Teacher of the Year” 13 times by his students at the University of Hawaii Medical School. His list of published papers and book contributions was so extensive, I stopped counting after 60.

Psychology:

Linda, Ph.D. A member of the faculty at a major University, is one of the foremost experts in the country on the relationship of parents, specifically fathers and daughters, after divorce. She has been featured on PBR, in the Wall Street Journal, and other distinguished publications.

Research:

Mike, has conducted research for St. Jude’s Hospital for over 30 years.

Education:

Cheryl, E.D.  Teacher, consultant, mentor, author. Has consulted with school districts across the country in developing educational programs. Voted Knox County Teacher of the Year. Member of the Hall of Honor – College of Education, University of Tennessee.

Cheryl served on the staff of a Junior College for over 25 years.  As an Associate Professor, she received Excellence in teaching and outstanding Faculty awards.

 We’ve had five teachers with over 30 years in the classroom:

Jeanine, Kathy, Martha, Nancy (also children’s book author), Sarah  

Twenty years in the classroom:

Linda, Terry, Joyce

Ministry:

David D.D, Served the United Methodist Church for 42 years.

Tom, served in business and education before obtaining a degree in Theological studies and ordained as an Episcopal priest. Now serving on a preaching fellowship at Virginia Theological Seminary.

Business:

Robert – President and Chief Operating Officer of a major restaurant chain with hundreds of restaurants throughout the country and in many countries throughout the world.

Jim, now EVP, Chief Financial Officer, and Chief Operating Officer of a major bank in Middle Tennessee.

Larry and Kathy have owned and operated a kitchen and bath design business in Knoxville for over 30 years.

Military: (Career)

Susan, LTC became the first female in the history of the US Air Force to finish first in her class in Officer Candidate School.

Mike, MD, (Col) Neurologist, Tripler Army Medical Center, Hawaii.

Lynn, Officer, U.S. Navy, 

Larry, U. S. Navy, 

Reservists: (Career)

Ernest. Colonel, US Army

Joe, Lt Colonel, US Army

Leonard, M SGT, US Army

The ultimate sacrifice was paid by Marine Lance LCpl Mike Dawson who was among 19 brave Marines killed in heavy fighting on June 17, 1969, in Quang Tri Province, Viet Nam.  He was a member of the 3^rd Bn, 3^rd Marine Division. Mike was in his seventh month in Viet Nam. His name is inscribed on the wall of the Viet Nam Memorial in Washington, DC.

Engineering:

Larry, now an engineering consultant, was Vice President of Global Financial Operations for Dupont, (Stainmaster and Lycra Divisions). He has traveled to over 72 countries and has published three novels under the pseudonym of J W Streett.

Terry obtained a Ph.D. in Civil Engineering.  Served as a consulting engineer for 18 years and as a professor at the University of Tennessee in Civil Engineering for 20 years.

Arts and Architecture:

James mastered the Danish language and has worked as an architect in Denmark for over 40 years.

Performing Arts:

Elizabeth has been a member of the Knoxville Symphony for many years as a violinist and harpist.  She is a member of her own performing group.

Bill, now deceased, played the French Horn with the Milwaukee Symphony for 35 years. A noted bird watcher, he became an expert in hawk migration.

Scarlett. Inimitable, and talented.  She has performed as a stage actress for a theater company in Anchorage, Alaska for many years

Volunteers:

Pam has been recognized for contributing over 8000 hours of volunteer work at the Medical Center in Columbia, TN.

Eric volunteers three days a week at the Shepherd Spine Clinic in Atlanta assisting individuals with spinal cord injuries and helping them regain their ability to walk.

Cheryl was recently honored for thousands of hours of service with Helen Ross McNabb Center, an organization in Knoxville that provides help and support to individuals and families dealing with mental health and substance abuse issues.

Jack for over a decade has worked for countless hours to provide food and shelter to homeless or unwanted animals.

Finally, the overwhelming majority of you have taken on the toughest and most important task of all by giving care, love, and support to your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren as devoted and loving MOMS AND DADS and producing another generation of great Americans.

So, Bulldogs, I’d say we did ourselves proudly…

We Built that Mountain

We didn’t just try

We kept our word

And we built it high

Thanks again for coming, and give yourself a big hand!

With that, I’ll be Easin’ Along…